NFL Predictions Week 9

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So, a rough week for the boys here in the Pacer office. A 9-6 week isn’t great, but also isn’t terrible considering the amount of upsets this week. This puts our all time record at 76-46. So close to eclipsing that 50 loss mark, but also close to the 100 win mark. Doubling our losses would be huge but I don’t see that happening. Anyways let’s get into this week.

 

New York Jets (2-5) vs. Indianapolis Colts (3-5) Thursday 7:20

 

Three words. Magic. Mike. White. Beating the Bengals a few years ago wouldn’t have been an accomplishment, but this year with how high powered their offense and surprisingly good defense is, I’ll give it to the Jets. Now does that mean I’m taking the magic man? Not in a million years. The Colts have snapped out of their bad start and they look dangerous. And although having magic Mike, it’s still the Jets. Colts by a lot.

Jets 21 Colts 31

 

Minnesota Vikings (3-4) vs. Baltimore Ravens (5-2) Sunday 12:00 PM

 

I am fully convinced Mike Zimmer is one of the worst coaches in the league. It’s either that or I’m overrating the Vikings. This team should be so much better than they are with their talent and they just aren’t good. That doesn’t stop me from picking them. But they’re playing the Ravens who are a lot better than them and are coached better than them. Lamar should light up this Vikings defense.

Vikings 27 Ravens 34

 

New England Patriots (4-4) vs. Carolina Panthers (4-4)

 

The Pats are better than everyone expected. They beat a good Chargers team last week and play a lesser opponent in Carolina this week. Although McCaffery should be coming back this week, I don’t see him coming back in full. Probably just limited snaps sharing with big Chuba Hubbard. And if that’s the case, I think the Pats will beat up on Sam Darnold and his Carolina Panthers.

Pats 27 Panthers 21

 

Cleveland Browns (4-4) vs. Cincinnati Bengals (5-3) 

 

Welcome back Baker! Here’s your present. OBJ’s dad calling you out for not passing to his son. To be fair, even if that didn’t happen, I would still be picking the Bengals over the Browns… so. Baker has no left shoulder and the Bengals are really good (even if they lost to magic Mike White last week).

Browns 17 Bengals 31

 

Denver Broncos (4-4) vs. Dallas Cowboys (6-1) 

 

FRAUDS. DENVER ARE FRAUDS. That’s all. The Cowboys should win this easily, even if Cooper Rush is at the helm. Remember, this Broncos team is a fraud. So there is no way they beat an actual good team in the Boys.

Broncos 17 Cowboys 27

 

Buffalo Bills (5-2) vs. Jacksonville Jaguars (1-6)

 

Bills. Next game.

Bills 34 Jags 6

 

Houston Texans (1-7) vs. Miami Dolphins (1-7)

 

Jesus. This game is really bad. Tyrod is back though. That’s pretty cool. And the Dolphins have Jaylen Waddle, who’s cool. I don’t know man. Flip a coin on this one. I’m picking the Dolphins for the fact that they have cool jerseys and Jaylen Waddle is on my fantasy team. 

Texans 20 Dolphins 27

 

Atlanta Falcons (3-4) vs. New Orleans Saints (5-2)

 

The football gods took Jaybo Winston from us. I am in mourning. We will miss you Jaybo. Now with Trevor Semien behind the wheel, I would say they were screwed, but they’re coach is Sean Payton. And the Falcons defense is as gaping as a donut. Plus the Saints defense should carry them to victory.

Falcons 21 Saints 27

 

Las Vegas Raiders (5-2) vs. New York Giants (2-6)

 

Due to the actions of Henry Ruggs, I cannot morally pick the Raiders to win this game. Hope the Giants rock them.

Raiders 13 Giants 27

 

Los Angeles Chargers (4-3) vs. Philadelphia Eagles (3-5) 3:05 PM

 

The Chargers disappointed me last week. Although, they did play Bill Belichek. They should’ve put the beat down on the Pats and J Herbo should’ve thrown for 4 TD’s. But instead he got tossed around by the Pats d. With that being said, the Eagles beat down on a horrendous Lions team. And they don’t have that easy of a matchup this week. The Chargers should win this easily. 

Chargers 34 Eagles 20

 

Green Bay Packers (7-1) vs. Kansas City Chiefs (4-4) 3:25 PM

 

If it wasn’t for the recent news of Aaron Rodgers not being vaccinated and getting Covid, I would’ve picked the Packers. But with J-Lo under center it makes this game really easy to pick. Chiefs by a lot. 

Packers 17 Chiefs 31

 

Arizona Cardinals (7-1) vs. San Francisco 49ers (3-4) 

 

An angry Cardinals team facing off against a rejuvenated Jimmy G. The Cardinals are angry and ready to light up this Niners team. It should be a clobbering received by the Niners. 

Cards 38 49ers 27

 

Tennessee Titans (6-2) vs. Los Angeles Rams (7-1) 7:20 PM 

 

Derrick “Goku” Henry. Derrick Henry. Why? Why football gods? Why must you do this to all of us? To be fair, I still probably would’ve taken the Rams even if the Titans had Goku. But the season ending injury just makes this game less fun. I want to see the King run over multiple Rams defenders and carry 5 guys into the endzone for TD. Win or loss, the Titans are fun to watch with Derrick Henry on the field. Now I just have to watch Matt Stafford throw 5 TD’s on the headtop of all sad Titans fans. 

Titans 21 Rams 45

 

Chicago Bears (3-5) vs. Pittsburgh Steelers (4-5) Monday 7:15 PM

 

I pick the Bears to win once and it all goes down the toilet. Although it was Justin Fields’ best game of the year, He still lost by 10+ points. And that will be the last time I ever pick the Bears to win a game. They play noodle arm Big Ben and the diva squad of JuJu and Claypool. But the defense is still so good with Minkah and Watt anchoring it. So…. Steelers by 80. 

Bears 13 Steelers 28

 

Detroit Lions (0-7) vs. Bye Week (0-0)

 

I beg. Please. Win something. Knowing the Lions. Goff and swift are going to get covid, Dan Cambell is so angry he’ll be going 156 MPH down the highway and Sheila Ford will somehow find the fountain of youth just to ruin this team even more than it already is. Give me the Bye Week. 

Lions 0 Bye Week 156 (please no storylines I beg you please. I need no knee caps being bit off or anything. Just be your non-existent selfs.)